Evita and the Dragon Lady

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by Charles Booker

Evita and the Dragon Lady ...

The spirit of Alcee Hastings’s now famous quote haunts our city; "There are no rules…. We're making this up as we go along.” It leads directly to the question: are there any adults in charge at City Hall?

A case in point is Leticia Cantu, our very own Evita – on the make and on the rise. She began by volunteering for various political tasks and ultimately managed to draw the Castro brothers’ attention.

She volunteered with Councilman Chip Hass, and then for Julian Castro’s first mayoral campaign. She worked on City Councilman Roger Flores’s staff but was fired for causing “trouble.” Next she had a tour with Councilwoman Delicia Herrera only to plunge into a public mess when she “helped out” Joaquin Castro, for whose political campaign for state rep she was doing some work, by reportedly running her SUV through an anti- toll road “booth” display put up by the campaign of his Republican opponent. (Video of the incident and more information are available at http:///www.sanantoniolightning.com/residence1.html.)

Joaquin did cut a check to Leticia for $2,000 for her work for his campaign, but he said he took it back and tore it up after the videotaped brou-ha-ha. That was when Herrera fired her. (City staff, by ordinance, may not have second jobs.)

By this time a cloud of colorful stories gathered around Leticia – such as hopping aboard Fiesta floats reserved for City Council members only, and even inviting friends along. She was known by many by this time, and getting better known.

In 2007, she was a bridesmaid in then-out-of-office Julian Castro’s wedding. Julian had invited her to be a bridesmaid after asking his fiancÈe, Erica. All was well until Leticia attempted to take over directing Erica’s wedding. Erica rebelled. According to witnesses, a nasty confrontation ensued, complete with tears.

Of course the incident generated even more stories about Leticia. However they did not seem to bother her. She even hinted to some of her critics that her family had links to the notorious Mexican Mafia. She may have been joking, but some younger city staffers began to fear her a little.

After her kamikaze attack on the anti-toll road booth, her older white SUV (like the one videoed crashing the toll-booth sign) disappeared and a shiny new black Mercedes SUV appeared. Life was good.

Despite being dumped by Herrera, our heroine came roaring back by persuading Henry Cisneros to persuade his wife, Mary Alice, to hire Leticia to lead her City Council campaign. Leticia was in with the San Antonio political aristocracy. After the election she transferred to a staff position.

All went well – for a while. There are different explanations for what happened next. The public version involved a disagreement over policies regarding unions. The whispered reasons were more personal and titillating. There were plenty of witnesses when the blowout happened, during the day, at City Hall, and in Mary Alice’s office. It was by all accounts a dilly - including screaming and things thrown. Security escorted Leticia out.

Boom! She was back on the street with no parking space.

Leticia immediately appealed to her patrons. They were moved by her plight and urged City Councilwoman Lourdes Galvan to hire Leticia. Thus soon after the big fight, Leticia was back at City Hall parking in council slots.

In what passes all understanding for sociopathic boldness, Leticia reportedly drove up to the ten slots reserved for the Mayor and City Council. She coolly parked and headed off for work, head held high. Why? Because she parked her new shiny black Mercedes SUV right next to Mary Alice’s space.

Her next escapade was a corker. At some point Lourdes and Leticia discussed a favorite project; to wit, a city proclamation honoring the Bandidos motorcycle gang for good works. The Bandidos do, on occasion, indulge in good works but, as critics contend, mainly to divert attention from their bad works.

The Mayor’s office generated proclamations routinely issuing them complete with council members “signatures.” Leticia waited until Mayor Hardberger was out of town, then wrote a request using Lourdes’s office stationary, and dropped it off.

Boom! The cops were furious, believing the gang had murdered law enforcement officers. Boom! Mayor Hardberger upon his return was furious. Boom! Lourdes Galvan defended Leticia to no avail. Shortly after this, Lourdes was defeated in her bid for a second term. Boom! Leticia was back on the street and her unauthorized parking space taken away.

She looked around for political protection and her gaze fell upon Phillip A. Cortez. They had once dated but fell out (what a shock). Love bloomed again and she moved in with him. Six months established her residency in his District 4. Then Cortez announced that the military had called him back to duty. Wartime, don’t you know. He asked the Council to appoint fiancÈe Leticia, to his seat - notice her change in status. Moist-eyed, the Council obliged. Thus Leticia made councilwoman without the bother of an election; and got an authorized parking space to boot.

Alas, instead of using her time to productively carry out her duties, she now wants to accompany Elisa Chan to China. Moreover, they want the city (i.e. us) to pay for it and provide a juicy expense account. Why do they want to go? Leticia and Elisa, like Cortez, desperately want to dodge the tree ordinance vote coming up in May. It is a proposal governing destruction of native trees in future developments. Chan has good reason to not offend developers, as does Cortez. Moreover, Cortez has a habit of disappearing when tough votes loom. Leticia understands her fiancÈe’s concerns...A taxpayer-funded China spree with the Dragon Lady gets her as far away as possible thus avoiding pesky responsibilities.

Oh, yeah it turns out Cortez was not really “called back” to the USAF; he asked to take “Media Relations” courses in Maryland. This apparently in anticipation of his post “public service” career. What a patriot.