You Deserve to Be Happy -- Yes, You Do!

I know you’ve heard it a million times―“It’ll happen when you least expect it.”  The “it,” of course, is finding that special someone.  I don’t know if the adage is true or not, but I do believe things happen for a reason.  So what are some possible reasons that your relationships keep going nowhere?  Could it be that you’re simply trying too hard to find Mr. or Ms. Right?  Or even worse, do you try to turn every person you date into “The One,” whether they truly fit the bill or not? Forcing a square peg into a round hole is the best recipe I know for “unhappily ever after.”

Are you holding onto someone who really isn’t the right one?  Maybe it’s time for a reality check:  Can you honestly say that your current relationship is all you hoped for and more?  One surefire test is to imagine your life and relationship about a year down the road.  What does life with this person look like?  And no cheating―you must imagine the person in the future acting exactly the way they do now, for better or worse.  Did the thought of being with your special someone 365 days from now bring a smile to your face?  If so, then you have my blessing to skip the rest of this, but if not, read on.

Most people make a conscious effort to put their best foot forward when they meet someone.  In the dating world, this might mean being especially attentive, hiding bad habits or being more romantic than usual.  In other words, if they aren’t nearly perfect in the beginning and the relationship isn’t all you hoped for, chances are, things aren’t going to improve or change.  I know you are familiar with the phrases, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” or “a leopard can’t change its spots.”   If it’s not pretty great right now, I’m sorry to say, it isn’t going to get better.

I hate to be pessimistic, but I can tell you from experience, things don’t change. I think the only thing that changes is your mind―by deciding to deal with the reality of the situation.  We really shouldn’t waste our time on someone that doesn’t please us in most ways.  Continuing to commit yourself to this person just because you’re afraid there won’t be a “next guy” or “next gal” is like swimming with all your clothes on―it doesn’t feel good and you’ll have trouble keeping your head above water.   Quit trying to force this wrong person into being the right person―Mr. or Ms. Right Now is not necessarily Mr. or Ms. Right.

Have your friends and family “told you so,” but you just wouldn’t listen?  Have you ever thought about what it is you are searching for or made a mental checklist of must haves?  It might be a good idea to take note of what you’re searching for and concentrate on what would be ideal for you.  Think of this as an adventure, a hunt, or a blueprint for lasting happiness.

Don’t be afraid to be alone or get rid of what doesn’t make you happy.  It’s much better now to make this realization than to discover down the road that you were wrong, your friends were right, and you’re miserable.

Don’t settle, and don’t sacrifice―move on and find the right one, which leads me to my favorite saying:  If you settle for less, that’s what you’ll get!